What to Expect from Your Mentor
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Share this article on Google+ Mentors are human. They have their flaws like anyone else. Some of them are simply not cut out for the role. So what exactly should a good mentor do… and not do?
If things aren’t clicking with your mentor, you should feel comfortable moving on. After all, trust is vital to a successful mentor-mentee dyad. And although mentors aren’t exactly a dime a dozen, there are plenty in the Réseau Mentorat network to do the job.
Unlike some other programs, Réseau Mentorat is committed to following up with each dyad to make sure mentees have been paired with the right person and mentors are using the tools of the trade the way they are intended.
I actually remember more than a decade ago when a fellow mentor, a high-profile entrepreneur in local business circles, was stripped of his mentor status for having committed a significant ethical breach: he had asked his mentee to invest in his company and become a shareholder. There’s a reason codes of ethics exist, and mentors need to comply with them, without exception.
Beyond considerations like these, what should a mentee expect of their mentor? I’ve come up with the following list.
1. Keeping an open mind.
People become mentors because they want to help others. But they also want to learn themselves. To do this, they have to check any preconceived notions they might have at the door. Mind you, this is easier said than done. Especially when mentoring entrepreneurs in a field they might not be altogether familiar with. But a good mentor will be guided by a sense of fascination about who their mentee and what they do. They will focus on broad skills rather than any one specific realm of know-how. Every entrepreneur faces personal and professional issues that are unique to them, but there are also many challenges that a good mentor will spot from miles away. A less effective mentor will judge a mentee’s lack of experience or point the blame at others (such as a spouse or an associate) for making things difficult, instead of trying to zero in on the true source of the problem.
2. Listening carefully.
Entrepreneurs tend to live life in the fast lane. But every once in a while, they need to slow down, pull over and have a good, long look at the road. A good mentor will spend time listening and focusing on their mentee, examining their motivations and their concerns in greater depth. A bad mentor will make sweeping judgments and dole out clichéd advice and platitudes. They will never ask the questions that matter or attempt to get the bottom of things.
3. Challenging your perspective.
It’s easy for entrepreneurs to get caught up in the day-to-day operation of their business. They tend to bombard their mentor with one question after another, be scattered in their thought process or, at the other end of the spectrum, remain too focused on whatever crisis is currently dominating their attention. A good mentor will answer any such questions with another question, sometimes to a frustrating degree — but with the ultimate goal of getting their mentor to discover and articulate their own answers. This helps hone their entrepreneurial mindset and analytical capabilities. A mentor who isn’t at the top of their game won’t try to help their mentee understand the multiple aspects of a given situation (especially those of a personal nature) and will steer clear of any of the angles their mentor underestimates, misunderstands or is unaware of.
4. Seeing the big picture.
When mentors get talking among themselves, they sometimes express their feelings of exasperation and wonder when their mentees will clue into something they think is all too clear. A good mentor is patient and attentive. They will give their mentee food for thought based on their own experience, but they will never plop a ready-made solution onto their lap. They accept that their mentee has to blaze their own trail. A bad mentor, in comparison, touts a one-size-fits-all solution to every situation and deems their mentee incapable of coming up with any worthwhile suggestions on their own. Either that, or they are intent on getting things settled ASAP, because “enough is enough.”
5. Nudging you into action.
Entrepreneurs are competitive by nature. They love to win. Which, by extension, means they hate to end up on the losing end of any situation. But a loss can be an invaluable learning experience. A good mentor will gently encourage their mentee to work on certain shortcomings, not by pushing them to do so, but by motivating them to establish goals and re-examine the status quo that is holding them back. A bad mentor will never challenge the current state of affairs. They will simply shrug and say that’s the way things are.
6. Fostering growth.
PIt’s called a comfort zone for a reason. Entrepreneurs tend to stay there to feel like they’re in control. But stepping out of it can be critical in the pursuit of success. A good mentor will inspire their mentee to ask difficult questions, face their personal problems and tackle their fears. A bad mentor might advise them to recruit a specialist instead. They will steer the conversation away from topics that are overly personal or too close to the bone. A bad mentor plays therapist, while a good mentor simply strives to contextualize matters that have direct repercussions on their mentees’ career or business.
7. To network or not to network.
Successful entrepreneurs have a well-established network and a long list of business contacts at their disposal. But a good mentor will not generally give you direct access to these contacts. There may be exceptions to this rule, as long as there is no adverse impact on their mentee and all the appropriate precautionary steps have been taken with both the mentee and the referee. A bad mentor is quick to introduce their mentee to customers, suppliers and potential associates, without giving a second thought to any negative consequences to the mentoring relationship if something were to go wrong.
8. Staying at arm’s length.
A dyad is a volunteer, learning-oriented arrangement rooted in the exchange of strategic information and the lack of a vested business interest. A good mentor will watch from the wings with pride as their mentee comes into their own. A bad mentor will see this a business opportunity and suggest themselves as a customer, supplier, investor or shareholder in their mentee’s business. They will have no compunction about turning their mentor-mentee arrangement into a business relationship and using the confidential information they have access to as a mentor to their advantage.
9. Sharing information.
A dyad is a two-way street. Both mentors and mentees learn from each other. A mentee needs to move beyond their fears and establish a clear relationship with their mentor. A good mentor remains humble and will say so if they don’t have the answers to a given question. A bad mentor will be driven by appearance and pride. They will avoid putting themselves into a position of perceived vulnerability. (Even though having experience doesn’t mean being an expert in every field.)
10. Being available and approachable.
A mentoring relationship is one that emerges over the long term, since it focuses on soft rather than hard skills. Knowing that an entrepreneur’s path is fraught with crises and challenges, a good mentor will make themselves available for their mentee as needed, on only a few hours’ notice, for anything from a quick telephone call to a full-fledged mentoring session. Active dyads entail monthly meetings, in person, via videoconference or by phone. A good mentor will also clearly establish the rules of contact at the outset, specifying that they are available at all times, with a few hours’ notice, to return calls or messages. Being hard to reach and/or cancelling meetings at the last minute are the hallmarks of a poor mentor and show a fundamental lack of respect.
Written in collaboration with Stéphane Desjardins.